tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post3679550903522990417..comments2022-12-13T06:15:49.542-05:00Comments on ABOUT SCHIZOPHRENIA: IT'S NOT THE END: Schizophrenia Medications - My Experience with the Atypical AntipsychoticsPamela Spiro Wagnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-54987318231098349842012-11-04T15:17:50.305-05:002012-11-04T15:17:50.305-05:00Hi Rachel,
Wow, what a story. You certainly would...Hi Rachel,<br /><br />Wow, what a story. You certainly would have a lot to say to many people, including your children and grandchildren, and probably many others as well. If you feel like sharing any more with this blog's comment section or at Wagblog, please feel free to comment at any time. I -- and others I am certain -- would appreciate hearing from you. But if you prefer just to read, that is fine too. Thanks, by the way, for all the "likes" at Wagblog. Those never go unappreciated! <br /><br />By the way, you can also read my very earliest blog posts -- from the early 2000s --at www.schizophrenia.com (look for wagblog there). That "wagblog" blog is inactive, alas, but the archives are still available. Ever since the site went back online, I've wanted to reactivate it, but cannot seem to get hold of anyone at the site to do so...<br /><br /><br />Anyhow, thanks a million for your lengthy comment, and good luck.<br /><br />PamPamela Spiro Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-1900080975328185542012-11-03T23:38:15.823-04:002012-11-03T23:38:15.823-04:00Dear Pamela and Melissa,
I have gotten so much out...Dear Pamela and Melissa,<br />I have gotten so much out of reading this post, and in particular, all these comments! Thank you both for being so open here.<br /><br />I found this blog after googling Pamela's name, which I did after finding the book "Divided Minds" on Amazon. Earlier today I read the sample of the Spiro sisters' book on my Kindle, and will order the print copy.<br /><br />We are nearly the same age, Pamela. With my 60th birthday coming up in a few months, and my first great-grandchild now on the way, I am finally taking an in-depth look back at a part of my life that I have kept mostly hidden: in 1967 I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and then committed by my mother to a state insane asylum, where I remained until I was 16.<br /><br />I stopped all psychiatric meds and therapy when I left the institution in 1969, and have had almost no symptoms of psychosis since. But beginning at age 39, I have experienced numerous deep, sometimes suicidal depressions, along with frequently overwhelming attacks of anxiety. At around the age of 40 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on lithium, and then Depakote, etc., for a total of nearly 10 years. The biggest effect I noticed from the various “mood stabilizers” I was prescribed, was that I had no emotions whatsoever, very little energy, my thinking was confused, my memory was badly compromised, and I went from my normal slender size to approx. 30 overweight.<br /><br />These unbecoming changes in me eventually led to my last, and most painful, divorce. This took place a little over 10 years ago, shortly before my 50th birthday. At that time, I was in so much emotional agony that I took my divorce settlement money and, instead of paying cash for a modest house as I'd intended to do, I checked myself into a renowned private psychiatric clinic. I paid cash, having lost both my medical insurance and my monthly support in the divorce. But I was happy to do it; that's how desperate I was for help! After a full battery of physical and psychological tests, I was diagnosed with chronic and severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, going back to my earliest childhood trauma memories. I was not found to be bipolar, nor to have any of the personality disorders. My psychiatrist, the head of the clinic, and the author or co-author of over 80 books, told me that I could never have been schizophrenic. I wanted to believe him, but deep down in my heart I have always known that I truly WAS schizophrenic between the ages of 14 to 16.<br /><br />My life has been a struggle in many ways, leading to multiple failed marriages, and my 3 adult children, and their own children in turn, have all suffered greatly for it, as these learned "dysfunctions" seem to be handed down through the generations. This is why, on behalf of my unborn great-grandson, I am now embarking on a quest to learn all I can about my family's "curse," in hopes of finding some sort of understanding and, hopefully, a resolution that has so far eluded me, which I can write about in my own book, and pass down to my off-spring. At my age, with too many of my loved ones and acquaintances already gone from this world, a number of whom were younger than me when they passed, I want to tell my story, ALL of my story, before it is forever too late. My greatest fear is that I will take all my “secrets” with me to the grave.<br /><br />I am looking forward to reading your book in its entirety, Pamela, and also reading more of your blogs. I see that your wordpress blog is more current, and I will go through the posts you have there, as well as read through your older posts here. I probably won't comment on most of them, but I just had to stop and comment about how much I have been helped from reading this in-depth comment thread. I don't feel so alone with my “crazies” anymore! Thank you!<br /><br />RachelAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-3744398286265277942012-05-17T11:57:38.143-04:002012-05-17T11:57:38.143-04:00Your olfactory hallucinations comment reminded me....Your olfactory hallucinations comment reminded me. I kept smelling natural gas in and around my home. It can make me quite sick and I wonder if it was a hallucination or if it helped trigger the mania or made it worse. Nobody else seemed to smell it, but I know my husband had been working on our gas dryer around then, too. I don't think I would have smelled it outside, though, which I did. Also, there was a call from the gas company that said, "Sorry for the gas." I still don't know what that was about ... whether they were apologizing for a break or if it was just part of the mania. I would have maybe journaled the mania if I'd known what was happening. It was a strange trip and I don't remember it as well now.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-23931234808548829632012-05-16T20:02:51.397-04:002012-05-16T20:02:51.397-04:00Pam, I am not sure if I can or can't get away ...Pam, I am not sure if I can or can't get away with not taking drugs. Again, I am glad you have found what works for you. I know it took a while, too. I am getting low on options, though, from the sound of it. I guess if nothing works, I can always go off the meds. They've had some that did that, though I think most had another episode and came back.<br /><br />Yes, I think these are myoclonic jerks. I used to get them occasionally, but they seem to happen more when I'm down. I used to just get them while trying to sleep or while half asleep in the morning. Now I have them while awake sometimes, too. I wonder if the anxiety is causing them more ... or if something is up with my system causing both. She's thinking of moving me to Lamictal anyway. Some people theorize that many bipolar people are really having tiny seizures all over the brain, and that's why the seizure meds help. As you said, though, nobody knows. The jerks aren't that horrible, just annoying when they won't let me sleep just as I'm about to get there. I also have something where its like my skin is on fire, but my temp is like 96-99 any time I take it, usually 97. I also do not sweat despite feeling very hot. I PMed you on your yahoo, so check your spam box.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-80469973511343348532012-05-16T10:39:57.295-04:002012-05-16T10:39:57.295-04:00It could indeed be a kind of seizure, induced by t...It could indeed be a kind of seizure, induced by the meds, a myoclonal jerk...I would not tolerate it myself. very unpleasant, and the meds definitely lower the seizure threshold. THe docs would likely just add an antiseizure med to your cocktail rather than take you off the meds you are on...so more side effects to deal with! (Lamictal is an antiseizure med...) But again, why take a drug that isn't helping you feel a huge amount better to begin with? I know, they will say most drugs don't make you feel hugely better...but say what? If an antibiotic didn't cure my infection completely I would say, what use is it? I want to get better, not just limp along! Since they don't know what a psychiatric illness is, nor what causes it, they cannot even treat it well, let alone promise any sort of recovery...It is all such a load of crap, frankly, and I would not take any drugs at all, if I thought I could get away with it....Pamela Spiro Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-11229713315830484582012-05-16T10:32:44.114-04:002012-05-16T10:32:44.114-04:00(continued...
As long as I FEEL that they assist ...(continued...<br /><br />As long as I FEEL that they assist me in writing and doing art, I will take them, but as soon as I feel that they hinder me in any way, out the window they go!<br /><br />Note that my psychiatrist has no problem with helpful "polypharmacy" so I also take Zoloft, which I think is wholly unnecessary but which I have trouble stopping except extremely slowly ( we are lowering it by 12.5mg a month . I am now taking 75mg down from 125mg). I am also on Lamictal, largely for olfactory hallucinations (temporal lobe epilepsy), topomax for Migraine prevention, and some Ritalin and Xyrem for narcolepsy. Xyrem regularizes my sleep so I need much less Ritalin to stay awake than I ever have, Hurrah!<br /><br />Keep writing Melissa, if it helps you and gives you some feeling of accomplishment. THat's no problem for me...We can only do our best each day, and if writing a comment here is your best and makes you feel good, well, Bravo for that! Remember, ALL WRITING COUNTS! Many the time all I did in the past was write one letter, or a journal entry but I made sure I let it count as an accomplishment for the day. Otherwise I would have driven myself into the grave for lack of meaning in my life.Pamela Spiro Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-49596338847011091332012-05-16T10:32:27.795-04:002012-05-16T10:32:27.795-04:00Melissa,
ALL writing counts, even these notes to ...Melissa,<br /><br />ALL writing counts, even these notes to me, at least that is my motto. If you are losing posts, write them out in a word processing program and save them first. Then try to post them. That way you won't permanently lose them if they don't post the first time. I know how terribly frustrating that is. (By the way, if you prefer, we could correspond privately by email, if you would like. Just go to Wagblog.wordpress.com and to the Contact me page. Otherwise, continue to write me here, I do not mind.<br /><br />What meds are you on now anyway? Have you considered that these jerks are side effects? It seems probable to me that they are. They are definitely NOT part of depression or schizoaffective or bipolar and I would not trust ANY doctor who told you they were. Have you ever had a real NON-psychiatric medical work-up just to relieve your worries about medical problems, and also to rule out medical causes for your psychiatric issues? Also, perhaps you are experiencing ALL these problems BECAUSE of your meds??? It is entirely possible. A good second opinion might be warranted as well, from someone completely separate and not connected to your present doctors. NOT recommended by them either...<br /><br />As I keep saying, I am not a psychiatrist, but I am acutely aware that these days psychiatrists tend to put people on lifetime meds even after one BRIEF episode, and you yourself said that it was brief and that it ended surprisingly quickly, surprising even them. Are you even certain that it was medication that helped or maybe just time? Perhaps your own system overcame the mania? That is possible too. Were you not sleeping at the time? If not, that could have brought on mania, and then a good night's sleep for a while would have "cured" it...Or if your physical problems were resolved the psychiatric issues could have resolved quickly too...<br /><br />I really urge you to consider these things. And to think about the value of being or more to the point NOT allowing the doctors or the medications to make you a career mental patient. It really is critically important at age 31 to find yourself, your life and your path. More important than ANYTHING else at this point. You named a few things that you enjoy, and then you know what you did? You told me that you were unable to do them BECAUSE OF SIDE EFFECTS OF THE MEDS! Why do you tolerate meds that 1) do not seem to be helping you a great deal, 2) prevent you from actually doing the things that you once enjoyed or at least from finding out whether you can still enjoy them? <br /><br />THe pleasures are still there. The talents and interests are still there. But the meds LOWER dopamine, the rewards neurotransmitter, or at least that is the theory. So i keep wondering why anyone expects you to feel better or to have ANY interest in anything (if the complaint is anhedonia) when they are lowering your dopamine levels. Now I know it is more complicated than that, but still, this is still using a shotgun approach not a surgical laser in directing treatment. (Not that ANYONE actually knows what levels of neurotransmitters are normal, nor that such "imbalances" are really the cause of "mental illness" at all!)<br /><br />That said, I also will reiterate that I believe Geodon and Abilify are helpful to me. It could also be that I would do fine without them. I do not know. I really do not know. I believe I need them, I believe it. So I do take them. Why? Because, and ONLY because I experience no bad side effects from them that I know of and I believe they help. (Possibly they increase my appetite, but I take topomax and Xyrem, which seem to balance this out a bit...in any event I have not had too much problem with my appetite, though it remains a concern...). (to be continued)Pamela Spiro Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-57680160057703484442012-05-15T23:33:42.823-04:002012-05-15T23:33:42.823-04:00PS - Since all this, I have also noticed I will je...PS - Since all this, I have also noticed I will jerk in a weird way pretty often. It's not the chills on the spine type of jerk. It's just a weird random jerk. I'd almost describe it as maybe a light seizure??? It's another reason I don't sleep well. I keep forgetting to mention it, but not sure they'd even say anything.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-53357514483672708192012-05-15T23:27:39.265-04:002012-05-15T23:27:39.265-04:00Pam,
Thanks! What do I do to "live" and ...Pam,<br />Thanks! What do I do to "live" and in my spare time when I'm not bothering you? Good question because right now I am not feeling that I am doing that much. Ya know, I could write lots, but I keep losing my posts. Realistically, I still haven't recovered my abilities to enjoy things or appreciate beauty the way I did. I am in a really beautiful area, too, that I have loved since I moved here. The bad thoughts don't just nag, they scream, louder than anything else I try to think about or do. I still try mind you. My creative juices are no longer flowing. Wish I could get into art like before all this ever started (when I was much younger honestly). I like outdoor stuff like hobby farming, but most of the day it's too bright and hot considering the meds I'm on. I used to like exercising, but now I walk/jog and other things more for my health. My diet's not perfect, but it's definitely decent and I usually eat less now. I have lost some weight, but seems like I will lose it and it jumps up despite my not really changing anything. Oh well. Right now I am more concerned with sanity than weight. Still don't want to be fat, though, as I don't think it's helping matters.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-81634850232246584472012-05-15T15:28:24.458-04:002012-05-15T15:28:24.458-04:00Continuing:
Maybe in fact, you can keep a relaps...Continuing: <br /><br />Maybe in fact, you can keep a relapse from happening. Who knows, but worrying about it won't help anything. Anxiety could be worsening everything. You need to STOP looking at your symptoms, stop thinking about symptoms, stop talking about symptoms and get back into life if it is still possible...and it is always possible. STOP asking your docs what is wrong with you. Find out what is right with you! Look at the positive things in your life and emphasize them. A doctor is trained to look for illness. THat is how she makes her living! If they couldn't call you ill, they couldn't take your money, remember that! But if you are only 31, do you really want to stay ill and in their clutches for the REST OF YOUR LIFE? You are so young, you have so many years ahead of you. You don't need a future of institutions and medications if you can possibly avoid it. Dump some of those docs and tell them you will see them if and when you NEED them. Meanwhile, find some friends, and ask them how they cope, how they work, watch how they live and enjoy life. You can do it. Find a way to find a life that is YOURS and yours alone. You are a unique person. Just because your brother has schizophrenia doesn't condemn you to the same problem, or even to life-long bipolar. If it happens it happens but NO ONE has the right to condemn you to life-long anything! Remember that. Find your bliss, as Joseph Campbell famously said, Live your life. It is the only one you will have, at least so far as I know.<br /><br />Keep writing me if you want to, let me know how things are going.<br /><br />Pam<br /><br />PS THe weight thing is very hard, esp once you have it on you. All I can say is go the whole foods, no fat way if you can, and completely cut out junk food and all WHITE food. It is amazing what that can do both for your health and your waist line. It also improves mood and some "symptoms"...Don't worry about "protein" we get way too much of it as it is, and a good vegan or vegetarian whole foods diet still is full of amino acids, the building blocks of protein, so your body will build protein from those no matter what. (Read "Diet for a Small Planet" -- it is a terrific book that talks about this and has some great recipes too)Pamela Spiro Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-22800042257898859782012-05-15T15:15:21.627-04:002012-05-15T15:15:21.627-04:00Dear Melissa,
What do you do all day, if you don&...Dear Melissa,<br /><br />What do you do all day, if you don't work? Do you do anything you might enjoy? Do you get out of the house if you do not or cannot work? Have you taken a Myers Briggs test to find out what sorts of things your personality lends itself to, in case you do not actually know? I am wondering if you even know what you might want to do...The docs tend to medicalize EVERYTHING. But your comment about not taking care of yourself says a lot. If you were not sleeping enough, that may well have triggered a manic episode that would NOT have happened otherwise. Also, taking antidepressants can trigger manic episodes and CAUSE mania, not uncover bipolar illness that was always there...It is really important to get 7-8 hours sleep, not a great deal more or less. As for eating properly, DO NOT NOT NOT junk food, I cannot stress that enough. I never ever eat junk food, i cannot stand the way it makes me feel. If I eat a plate of french fries when out at a restaurant, one, that is ALL i eat, and two, I do so once or twice a year, that is it. Otherwise I eat whole foods and veggies and fruit almost exclusively. WHy? Because they taste good and I love them, period. I would go crazy if I had to eat white breads and pasta and greasy oily packaged foods. It is so easy to eat healthily when you taste real food and get full for the first time on vegetables and and it sticks to your ribs. <br /><br />It doesn't take very long to pack a casserole dish full of raw vegetables cut up, then add a little water and cover and microwave for a while or bake for 40 minutes,,,But that is all it takes to make a great dish. Add some rice to the liquid and cook again for 20 minutes, and you have a complete meal.... (to be continued)Pamela Spiro Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-32587504248535091762012-05-15T14:12:47.510-04:002012-05-15T14:12:47.510-04:00Pam, I think you are right, honestly. I wish you w...Pam, I think you are right, honestly. I wish you were on my medical team, but I know you aren't a doc. I have only had one manic episode and I'm 31. I have been dealing with this all my life. I had a few moments of hallucinations at other times, but I was VERY sick or a medication caused it. It wasn't just at random. If I can't get some financial help or feel stable and good enough to get a job, I can't afford meds anyway. Depression I have had plenty to varying degrees. Anhedonia is worse and I still feel it now some despite doing better. I may end up being wrong, but I still keep thinking maybe I should just have some meds on hand in case of emergency ... if it ever happens again. They said they have people that do that. My sister-in-law functions well and had an episode of some sort when she was younger and worked through it herself. She's on no meds and does fine. That doesn't mean I can, and mania is scary, but I still feel like I'm being punished for something that may never happen again if I am more careful and trust others to tell me when I'm off if I can't tell. I think the thought of life of dangerous medication is stressing me to the point I will have more problems. I'm obsessing over it and can't stop. It's an OCD/Hyperfocus thing. I also keep having these weird hot flashes ... at least once a month. I tested myself last night during one and my temperature is low to normal. I feel like I am on fire. It seems to go along with my moods some if I feel anything, and I am not sure if it's anxiety or if the tests just aren't picking up a thyroid problem. I need to see an endocrinologist. My Dr. in the hospital also asked if I'd ever had a brain scan, but he didn't order one for me. They all seemed shocked I came out of the mania so fast. Really, I'd been getting better before I went. It's just the physical symptoms finally got to me. I feel better in the morning before I take my meds. They aren't that horrible-feeling all the time, but you've read the books and you know what I'm worried about. I keep thinking if I'd just taken better care of myself I'd have been OK. My doc says not to think that, and it would have happened some time anyway. Otherwise I try to keep using it as a lesson that I need to take care of myself. Speaking of which, how did you lose all that weight? I am trying to take better care of myself, the weight has been awfully stubborn about going up again, just when I thought I was making a dent in it.<br /><br />Thanks again! You're a gem.<br />MelissaMelissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-57075940536606919442012-05-15T08:47:56.802-04:002012-05-15T08:47:56.802-04:00Hi Melissa,
How many episodes have you actually h...Hi Melissa,<br /><br />How many episodes have you actually had? If only one, why are they so certain that you permanently need treatment? Are you certain that you want to be on meds for life? Why? ALL meds have side effects and no one can be certain that your present symptoms are not drug-related nor that any symptoms down the pike will not be drug-related if you start taking meds regularly from now on. My advice is, since you have such side effects, wait and see, don't jump into taking just anything and hope that you can tolerate the side effects. Quality of life is so very important. I assure you that were I not lucky enough that I experience virtually NO side effects but beneficial ones from my meds, I would not take them. I TAKE NOTHING that affects me badly. NOTHING. When occasionally I take PRN HAldol, I stop it the second I feel any bad side effects, which means within 2 days. And I take a tiny dose. But I am lucky, and I repeat that. I am very lucky. Most people do have side effects. I would NEVER tolerate taking a med ever again that made me feel like crap. What is the point? What is the point? You choose your poison I suppose, but I do not prefer to feel physically ill all of the time, just to avoid the possibility of intermittent psychosis. I am sorry, but that is just how I feel. Perhaps you feel differently. That is your choice. But I like living most of the time, and my LIFE is worth living to me well, and I will not take a drug that makes it only a half-life just to prevent a hospitalization some time down the road that may never happen.<br /><br />What do you think? Am I crazy to think this way? IN any event, I forget how horrible psychosis is as soon as I am home and back in life...Which is a blessing in it s own way.<br /><br />Good luck and feel free to write and tell me I am full of it...I might be, who knows. But we each have to choose our own path. And that is mine.<br /><br />Yours,<br />PamAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-47063232208985670732012-05-14T14:45:19.174-04:002012-05-14T14:45:19.174-04:00Yes, some true desperation was involved, but they ...Yes, some true desperation was involved, but they also were just not comfortable with a long washout. I have been reading and reading. There are no good options. They are working on getting ABS-103 to market, and I hope it works like they think it will ... and I hope it works for me, or they find something else. We really need better options.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-87744351926665901322012-05-14T14:41:01.942-04:002012-05-14T14:41:01.942-04:00Yes, I know about lithium. It consumes my mind. I&...Yes, I know about lithium. It consumes my mind. I'm not in love with lithium. I really don't think it does anything for me, though we've had trouble getting the dosing right. I also don't want to have to get blood tests all the time. Lab work is expensive and lithium is picky about timing and all. She wants to try Lamictal because we might be able to get patient assist and there isn't so much lab work. I'm terrified of the rash, though she tells me if we go slow it's highly unlikely. My cousin has been on it for her rare seizure disorder I think, not that it means I will do well on it. If I don't get some kind of assistance and our finances don't look up, I will tell them they can treat me when I'm manic. Otherwise, no meds.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-61275100293597405332012-04-26T21:29:16.877-04:002012-04-26T21:29:16.877-04:00Melissa,
My (personal) sense is that if you had f...Melissa,<br /><br />My (personal) sense is that if you had feelings and emotions initially, it is often the meds themselves that take them away, and that a longer wash-out period is better than immediately switching to another med...Still, one chooses one's own path. Nevertheless I would beware of doctors who are overly eager to medicate non-emergency situations without a wait and see attitude. After all, many things clear up with time, and unless there is some true desperation involved, ie suicidality, you might be well advised to TRY to sit some of this out and see what happens with a longer time off...rather than going right onto more meds. Multiple meds can have bad side effects and lithium in particular can have devastating consequences down the road. I hope you are aware of that. But remember I speak only as a consumer, not as a doctor, though I am highly educated and also experienced...Nevertheless, as I said, you have to choose your own path. Good luck whatever way you go!Pamela Spiro Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-54549139387700355122012-04-26T19:02:41.741-04:002012-04-26T19:02:41.741-04:00You are tough to have been living with this stuff ...You are tough to have been living with this stuff for so long. I am glad the Abilify works for you and my brother. He actually gets to start trying to lower his dose soon. He reminded me meds are only part of it. We also have to work to focus on reality and sort some things out ourselves if we can. I know that's true. I'd just love to have my emotions and personality back.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-83536813634909777692012-04-26T18:50:45.361-04:002012-04-26T18:50:45.361-04:00Still feeling numb and dumb. She thinks because th...Still feeling numb and dumb. She thinks because things didn't clear up off the Latuda, that it wasn't the medication ... but just a result of my bipolar illness. Who knows. Also, she thinks it was because we were trying to get me off lithium and maybe I wasn't on enough Latuda. Not sure. She's going to do Abilify for a bit, but may later move back to the lithium, risperdone, cogentin cocktail I was on originally. They're just trying to stabilize things after some time off from meds. This has been tough. I also just tried trazadone + ambien for sleep and while I did sleep a little longer I passed out last night with the only warning being some nausea. Blood pressure got too low and the timing would point to the traz so I'll take less next time. My digestive system went crazy and my husband had to help me get to the bathroom after picking me up off the floor.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-65410814577634294202012-04-25T00:30:05.741-04:002012-04-25T00:30:05.741-04:00HI Melissa,
As I have said, I love Abilify, but I...HI Melissa,<br /><br />As I have said, I love Abilify, but I must take Geodon with it or I cannot tolerate the irritability...Good luck and keep me posted. Hang in there in any event. THings will get better.<br /><br />PamPamela Spiro Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-44980655998126057412012-04-24T20:04:12.792-04:002012-04-24T20:04:12.792-04:00She is going to have me come in every couple of da...She is going to have me come in every couple of days to check on things, too.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-41534987149535479422012-04-24T19:44:55.686-04:002012-04-24T19:44:55.686-04:00Thanks again and I am afraid you are right, but he...Thanks again and I am afraid you are right, but here we go. All I have been able to feel and process if anything is horrible anxiety, frustration, worry, etc. Have lost the ability to cry even and I so wish I could get the emotional release. She wants to try Abilify for various reasons, starting lowish. I am ready to give up with the anhedonia and lack of real emotions, but hopefully I am enough like you and my brother that it'll work out OK and not send me into a mania. Also going to crank up the Lithium again for stabilization. Every moment is frustrating and I haven't been able to sleep without Ambien, which isn't working so well right now so I am getting less of a break from it ... tired but unable to take a nap unmedicated. She was going to give me a script for Trazadone for sleep on top of the Ambien since lack of sleep can trigger mania, but somehow I managed to make it home before I realized I didn't have it. :/ I take my first dose of Abilify in the morning. She claims she's had luck with it even in catatonic patients. Wish me luck ...Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-46370526822109499122012-04-23T04:06:43.601-04:002012-04-23T04:06:43.601-04:00Hi Melissa,
I was only on Latuda twice, and then ...Hi Melissa,<br /><br />I was only on Latuda twice, and then for less than 2 weeks, so I really cannot say anything at all about the sorts of side effects that you are experiencing However, if they are new, I expect that they will go away in time. Just do not panic. I would give them at least as much time to dissipate as you were taking the drug...And then I might go back to the doc and tell her that something is wrong, if the effects have not yet gone away (ie in a month). But I wager that they will have.<br /><br />Abilify and Luvox? Well then no one must be worried about tipping your brother into man ia much, it seems to me. Otherwise I cannot understand the liberal use of an antidepressant AND a very activating antipsycotic! But there you have it. as you say he is doing well. Good for him. We are indeed all different!<br /><br />Take a look at Anatomy of an Epidemic sometime, it is truly an eyeopener vis a vis the issue of medication. If I were not nearly 60 and with a life history of medication behind me, I would definitely want to find a way to come off them. I still do. But I am not so much needing to as I used to be so long as I have good periods of functioning well on them. And why rock the boat at this point?<br /><br />Anyhow good luck and best wishes to you. If ever you feel like it, check out my other blog, in which I am much more active and where you can read more up to date posts, at http://wagblog.wordpress.com/<br /><br />Thanks again,<br /><br />Pam WPamela Spiro Wagnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15099575785070895367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-81914475068803933982012-04-22T15:11:30.280-04:002012-04-22T15:11:30.280-04:00On Latuda or shortly after stopping it do you ever...On Latuda or shortly after stopping it do you ever remember not being able to laugh or smile? It's like my involuntary reactions to normal stimuli and sense of humor are totally gone. Food is tasting a bit better after getting off the stuff, but I have to be eating it to get anything out of it. I can't really anticipate it tasting good and "want" it or anything else.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-3464646885494355062012-04-22T03:42:03.296-04:002012-04-22T03:42:03.296-04:00Thanks! I wonder if Abilify would be too strong (a...Thanks! I wonder if Abilify would be too strong (and expensive) like Latuda or the right balance with something else. I don't think I'll try it yet, but I am trying to learn before I am offered the next options. My brother is schizo/bipolar/OCD and I have a similar, but so far weaker flavor of that same mix I think. He uses Abilify with Luvox and does well. Want to say Geodon wasn't his friend, but we are all indeed different. OCD I eventually got mind-over-matter with after reading an article at age 12 and realizing I had it. Eventually I stopped any truly distressing aspects. In fact for a while I just channeled into making my projects and studies that much better rather than excessive hand-washing and lock-checking. OCD still kicks up now and then under stress, but never like it was if I just pause and ask if I'm being reasonable or not.Melissanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7434220192348162941.post-67832351834068628812012-04-22T03:25:55.024-04:002012-04-22T03:25:55.024-04:00The more I read up on all this and my symptoms, an...The more I read up on all this and my symptoms, and the fact that it should be almost out of my system, I think it may be drug-induced Parkinsonism. I can't easily make facial expressions without thinking about it. Food tasted better today and I seemed to smell more, and I didn't shake as bad, so hopefully in my case it will reverse with dopamine agonists and time. It's kind of awkward to fake smiles when you have to think first about controlling your facial muscles ... and fake laughs I haven't mastered yet. Thanks again for this blog. I may have fought through trying it longer and made things worse! Still the drugs to reverse the problems may make me hallucinate. Oh ... what ... fun. I was never one to drink or drug myself and yet I still manage to go trippy all on my own!Melissanoreply@blogger.com