Thursday, January 29, 2009

Schizophrenia Blog: Coming Out...Plus

Hello, to anyone who finds my blog via this post, having come from Kate's Yin and Yang website. Today is the first day the reincarnation of this blog came into the public sphere, after the original was lost from (that whole site now erased and/or abandoned). The process of reconstructing it here as we speak will take a long time as the whole blog covered 5 years. Even if some 500 pages cannot, alas, be retrieved, 1000 pages will be converted to posts here if I successfully accomplish my goal. I hope as well to add to it in the process, though in the end, I'd like to merge it, or at a minimum, link it to my blog, since the two, though somewhat dissimilar, are nonetheless both authored by me and ought at least to be related in some fashion so readers of one can if interested get to the other.


"My head is filling with people screaming and gnashing their teeth...I fear I may need to barricade the door." That's how I ended my last wordpress blog entry, the one I wrote tonight, after the visiting nurse, finally reassured I'd be safe, left. Oh, I am safe, safe from myself at any rate, which is what I knew mattered to her, visiting behavioral health nurses always being concerned most about suicide and/or acts of self-injury towards that end. And since I have followed such commands to set my leg on fire or put rolls of cigarettes out on my face, I suppose I can appreciate her concern. But tonight, it is not myself whom I fear, but the social chaos of a society gone mad with fear. They are all running away from the rising water, the rising sea level, the reversed gulf stream that is freezing the coast line forcing everyone inland. That is what they tell me, all the people, crying and moaning...But then they stop and there is quiet and I am confused. Where did they go? How could so many miserable, terrified people outside my door suddenly fall quiet en masse? Do I dare look outside? Do I dare go outside my door?

I just put the barricade up and my heart rate fell shortly thereafter, as the noise level went down as well. Now I feel safe. Now I feel safe.

I will return to the reconstruction of the Wagblog of website except that I want to add one thing. Please note the following, which I found on the website "Is Barack Obama the Messiah" website: 'Lawrence Carter, dean of the Martin Luther King Jr. International Chapel] said many people look for a sign from God when times are turbulent. And, he said, there are many elements to Obama's win in which Christians can find spiritual significance.

"It is powerful and significant on a spiritual level that there is the emergence of Barack Obama 40 years after the passing of Dr. King," said Carter. "No one saw him coming, and Christians believe God comes at us from strange angles and places we don't expect, like Jesus being born in a manger."

Some see God's will in Obama win, by Dahleen Glanton. Chicago Tribune November 29, 2008.'

There were other such evaluations but I would like to make an observation: one is that Barack comes from B-R-K, in arabic meaning "blessed or blessing", two, that Hussein, his middle name, is an alternate spelling of Husayn, which is a diminutive of Hasan, the grandson of the prophet Muhammed, the founder of Islam. (Note: Obama's father was born a Muslim but soon became atheist, while Obama himself belongs to the United Church of Christ.) Nevertheless I would note that Hasan/Hussein refers back to a god-like or prophetic personage, which is significant, though not the specific religion. Three, and this strikes me as most important of all, while "Obama" itself may have no meaning, what no one has noted before, spelled backwards, amabo, it means
in Latin "I will love...". And who will love, unconditionally everyone? Jesus, come again, in glory and splendor to usher in the Kingdom of God, but also the End of this World.

I will say no more, only present the evidence such as it is and let you look upon it. It is not complete, not here, not yet. But as the weeks pass I will be adding to it if it presents itself further to my eyes. As I believe it will. For I suspect that this good man at the head of our government is not to lead us merely out of a temporary "economic downturn" but has, as it has been suggested from many many corners, "come to lead us" in the path of righteousness...and towards an unimaginable future. Alas, it is a future I myself do not wish to see, being too lovingly attached to this green world, as little green as it still is. And I do not want to have it end, not even for the second coming of Christ. So I grieve it's loss the more, and weep and weep...


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